A Word for Empaths & Intuitives
As empaths, we FEEL everyone. You probably can’t go into a crowd of people without anxiety. And then the confusing ‘noise’ of everyone’s emotions. Before someone explained to me what this was, I
thought I was literally losing my mind. It had gotten to the point that I’d only go do things like grocery shopping in the middle of the night when the store was relatively empty. Going in the daytime was just too confusing, and I’d end up leaving the store and realizing when I got home that I’d forgotten half the things on my list and I was a wrung-out hot mess who just wanted a stiff drink, a good cry, and a nap. I’d stand in line, if the store was busy, and could FEEL the anger of the man in front of me from the fight he’d just had with his girlfriend or wife. I could FEEL the woman behind me and the sadness she had because her mother had just died (throw in said dead mother, and that made it worse with HER feelings), and the checker who was pissed off that she was still at work on a Thursday. The worst part was, I’d feel those emotions as if they were my own. I hadn’t yet learned to separate out what I felt from the people I was picking it up from (that comes with being intuitive and just takes practice), what I was, and that those feelings were NOT mine…I just felt them all. And it would be totally and overwhelmingly confusing. As soon as I’d get in my car, it would feel better, but it didn’t go away for hours.
thought I was literally losing my mind. It had gotten to the point that I’d only go do things like grocery shopping in the middle of the night when the store was relatively empty. Going in the daytime was just too confusing, and I’d end up leaving the store and realizing when I got home that I’d forgotten half the things on my list and I was a wrung-out hot mess who just wanted a stiff drink, a good cry, and a nap. I’d stand in line, if the store was busy, and could FEEL the anger of the man in front of me from the fight he’d just had with his girlfriend or wife. I could FEEL the woman behind me and the sadness she had because her mother had just died (throw in said dead mother, and that made it worse with HER feelings), and the checker who was pissed off that she was still at work on a Thursday. The worst part was, I’d feel those emotions as if they were my own. I hadn’t yet learned to separate out what I felt from the people I was picking it up from (that comes with being intuitive and just takes practice), what I was, and that those feelings were NOT mine…I just felt them all. And it would be totally and overwhelmingly confusing. As soon as I’d get in my car, it would feel better, but it didn’t go away for hours.
I was at a party once, sitting in a corner, completely miserable, when a stranger walked up, sat down, and said, “Has anyone told you that you’re an empath?” Of course, I naturally thought he was insane, but then he started explaining what that meant and I could relate to everything he was saying. He explained that everyone is ‘broadcasting’ energy 100%^ of the time; it’s like body heat; you can’t really control it if you’re not trying. It’s often in the form of emotions. And, for someone sensitive to that ‘frequency’, it means they pick it all up like a radio station. For some people, it’s just ‘static’: A vague feeling that you’re not quite right. For others, like me, it was ALL. OF. IT. Because I was also experiencing physical symptoms of things I didn’t have.
People who are empaths are drawn to the healing arts. This ranges from veterinary assistants, x-ray and ultrasound technicians, to doctors, and everything in between. They’re also often caretakers (think hospital volunteers or teachers). But here’s where the problems start.
It’s a very common and seriously dangerous belief that, as an empath, it’s your job to share your psychic space with others. That, somehow, if you’re not FEELING what they’re feeling, you’re doing it wrong, you’re holding back, you’re being selfish, or you’re generally just not being very compassionate. Yes, it makes them feel better. That doesn’t make it right. Just like you wouldn’t invite most of your clients into your home and snuggle with them in your bed, it’s equally ridiculous to allow them into your inner space. That ‘inner bubble’.
I’ll tell you why.
Every person emits measurable energy. The average person emits between 62 and 68 Hz every day, all the time. Every person also has that inner space. A place from which we ‘broadcast’ that emotional energy. To a person who doesn’t understand the process, they walk around all day sending and receiving all this energy ‘information’. That’s sort of like walking through common space yelling your social security number. As empaths and healers, the antithesis of us is out there as well, most equally unaware though some do this on purpose, who are happy to receive the fantastic healing energy you’re broadcasting. Which then leaves you feeling drained. No energy to speak of. Interacting with other humans is a chore. You begin to have physical pain that can’t be explained. Headaches. Bad dreams. I won’t even begin to touch on all the crap that comes with this type of this purposeless shared energy. (And we’ll save the conversation about purposely putting your energy into something for another day as that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms!)
So, what can you do?
It’s amazingly simple, but it requires some discipline. And consistency. That’s it. Those two things to be successful.
Imagine your Self in a bubble. It can look like whatever you want it to look like. Mine is black. It’s opaque and invisible; only I can see it. No one can see in, but I can see out. It’s also impenetrable from the outside. Nothing can get in unless I let it. When I work with children, I use the Harry Potter invisibility cloak, and that works well, too. You can use whatever works for you. The vehicle doesn’t matter one bit. Only that it’s completely impenetrable, absolute, and you control it completely. That’s it. (There’s more information on how to specifically do this in the list below)
Within that bubble are you and your Guides/Angels/God. No one else. I repeat: NO. ONE. ELSE. The friend who is hurting? Nope. They don’t get into that bubble. The client you have that’s suffering? Nope. Not them either. I can’t stress this enough. Think of it like sex…you’re careful about your partners. And you can contract some seriously nasty Psychically Transmitted Diseases (I’m being silly, but it’s a good analogy, and we’re all adults here so go with it J). But, we’re not equally careful about who you let into that most sacred of spaces. The temple. The place where your Soul lives and interacts with the world and all of those higher beings here to help you.
In my practice, I don’t share that space, either. Not even with my husband. And I can honestly say that it makes me more effective as a healer, not less effective. That space has to be kept as pure as it can be. That space is from where your intentions come. It’s where your soul rests and your spirit finds peace. No one gets in there. And that is not a selfish thing, not sharing that space. It’s necessary, not just for spiritual health, but for physical health, too. Because that space, once violated by energy that isn’t yours, then becomes infected with the other person’s ‘stuff’. And they’re (usually) doing it without knowing it. Like a person with tuberculosis coughing in your face; they might’ve meant to cover their mouth, but the damage is now done. We think that to truly show compassion or empathy, we have to take on the suffering of others. Think about it though: If you do, you become weak. If you’re weak, you’re ineffective. If you’re ineffective, you’re helping NO ONE. Including your Self.
Healing isn’t for everyone. The ACT of healing, that is. Intentional healing. But, as empaths, we draw people to us who are hurting even if we don’t mean to. They just show up. Mainly, because we’re broadcasting healing. And that makes people feel good. But it makes us feel like crap if we’re not controlling it. Here’s the kicker though: IF you can learn to control HOW you’re broadcasting, if you learn to do it with intention, it won’t be draining to you; it will be energizing. You’ll be able to help more people; not just help them to FEEL better, but help them to BE better.
If you’re in a job that requires you to be hands-on or close up with people who are ill, mentally, physically, whatever, you’re at an even higher risk. And it’s most important to keep that wall up. That bubble strong and in place all the time. I promise you’re still going to feel compassion and sympathy. You’re still going to be effective at your job. Actually, more so, because you’ll start to be able to purposely broadcast healthy energy that is only yours, not contaminated with every single messed up being with whom you come in contact every minute of every day (because that’s what you’re doing right now).
So here’s the recipe:
1) Realize that’s what you’re doing. Notice when you’re doing it, broadcasting it all without protecting yourself.
2) Stop doing that. That sounds trite. But it’s easier said than done. This is where the discipline and consistency start.
3) You’ve lived your life to this point doing this. Over that time, you’ve accumulated TONS of other people’s psychic crap. Treatments like energy work I perform, Reiki from a Reiki master, etc., will all help to get rid of that stuff that you’ve accumulated and leave your psychic space a clearer and healthier place to jump off from as you begin to…
4) Start practicing protecting yourself. If you’re a woman, I suggest doing it consciously every morning when you put on your makeup. That’s a ritual. Something you do every day. For men, when you shave…it should be something you do DAILY. Put on that protection when you’re putting on your makeup. Imagine that it will be there every minute of your day and that you’ll notice ‘weak spots’ when they occur.
5) Start paying attention to your own emotions. If you know you started off the day in a good mood, when you’re suddenly feeling tired/exhausted/angry/emotional/ etc. etc. etc., tune in, make sure the bubble is up, and then look at JUST the emotions inside it that YOU can account for. Then work backward to when you started to feel that feeling that really isn’t yours. Learn from those times and move forward. THIS TAKES PRACTICE. But I can honestly say that it probably saved my life.
6) Once you’ve got a handle on the fact that something in your bubble isn’t yours, do the Porcupine Maneuver:
a. Go somewhere outdoors, preferably in the grass, and take off your shoes (if possible).
b. Close your eyes, and visualize your bubble/cloak/protection.
c. Gather your energy, and then forcefully project it outward, like a porcupine tossing quills. Those quills are everything inside your bubble that isn’t yours. You can do it more than once until you start to feel more centered and calm. This sounds ridiculous, but it works. It sometimes helps to expel a deep breath as you release the junk you’ve accumulated.
d. Once you feel back to your normal baseline, put your shoes back on and go about your day.
e. Do this in different places each time. Universe will take care of the negative stuff that you’ expel, but it’s always a good idea to do this in different spots so things don’t build up in one place.
It’s important to make this a part of your life. Like taking your vitamins. Regular exercise. Eating right. It’s NOT SELFISH. If you want to truly be effective, it’s a necessity.